Scared of Breaking
How talking about things that make us emotional; breeds the fear of being “overemotional.”
Have you ever been sad or angry, and someone said to you, “It’s not that bad,” or “oh, don’t be sad?”
Well. Yeah. That’s not helpful.
In this one second response, we are taught to deny feelings and lock them away. The defense becomes visceral and we shake the tears away and “move on.” The emotion may be masked but it doesn’t go away. We also tell ourselves, “yeah, other people have it worse, why am I so sad.” However, this begins to block us from feeling our true feelings. We make excuses to others, or ourselves which creates a continual rippling effect in our body. “Push. Push. Push. Don’t cry, Don’t stress. Don’t be a drama queen.” Then later, we feel tired and drained because we are working too hard to control the locked gate on our emotions. Have you ever erupted in tears when angry? Yelled at someone when tired? Laughed when confronted? These are signs that your emotions are confused, repressed and needing a voice. What if I told you that not just the unpleasant emotions are blocked? When sadness has no outlet we also hinder ourselves from feeling happy.
Implications of pushing down emotions can cause increasing health issues. Our skin loses its glow. Our eyes look tired. We may be unable to make decisions. We get sick. Our friendships suffer. Our work suffers and we can no longer feel the energy we once had. We can even go as far as letting others control what we do or say. How do we get ourselves back? I was talking to a middle school student the other day and he shared that his favorite thing to do is shake bottles until they pop. I asked him why and he said the explosion is the best part, you feel excitement, then scared, and then relieved it didn’t hit you. Allowing your emotions can feel similar to his perspective. It can be exciting to share what you feel and scary that you are letting them emerge. Ask yourself if it may be worth the relief.